Since the release of Fifty Shades of Grey the incorporation and normalisation of BDSM has bounded off, becoming popular in relationships across the globe. If you’ve been looking for a new way to spice your relationship up, or just want to see what all the craze is about, keep reading.
Today we’ll be going over everything a beginner would need to know to safely include and enjoy BDSM in their sex life. So the next time you’re shopping for adult toys online, you can choose some extra special items to include in your sexual exploration of BDSM.
What is BDSM
BDSM stands for bondage, discipline (or domination), sadism (or submission), masochism. It covers a range of sexual practices but focuses on these 3 main areas. Unknown to most it isn’t all just latex and whips, BDSM focuses on the pleasure and trust of your partner.
BDSM usually incorporates a lot of power play within a sexually intimate setting. People who enjoy BDSM commonly share their love of relinquishing their control to their partner, putting a large trust in them while you’re in this vulnerable state.
Some of the most popular BDSM fetishes include submissive control (which is known in BDSM as a Dominatrix), choking or being choked, wax play and other latex toys (like harnesses, handcuffs etc).
Why is BDSM so Popular?
While some people may think that BDSM is taboo or too extreme, it's beginning to become a much more normalised act. Research even suggests that BDSM can benefit relationships by improving their overall health and communication skills. Deepening the trust you put in each other while providing a safe outlet for exploring hidden desires together.
The First Step to Bring BDSM to Your Love Life
BDSM is all about consent and trust, you may have heard couples in movies using ‘safe words’, this is just one way to ensure that your partner is safe and comfortable at all stages of your BDSM exploration. Through exploring BDSM in your relationship you should also be practising SCC (Safe, Sane & Consensual) or RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink) to ensure everybody is enjoying themselves. This is the first and most important step for a beginner.
You should also be having an honest and open conversation to make sure that this is something your partner wants, you don’t want to force them to try anything that they aren't 100% sure about. This can mean that you both understand the expectations, limits and desires you’ll be exploring during your BDSM time.
Having some non-verbal signals is also a great idea, especially if you or your partner are gagged and can’t speak. This might mean taping the other person’s body or ringing a bell if you’re tied up with limited movement.
Some Tools to Incorporate in Your Exploration
A BDSM scene will always focus on you and your partner first before any tools or toys; but a new toy or two can certainly help to make it more exciting! It can be a bit daunting to look at all of these hardcore and sometimes intimidating toys so today we’ll suggest a few toys that aren’t too daunting but can fully immerse you in the world of BDSM with your partner.
If you want to explore bondage/discipline a great beginners toy can be any impact or restraint BDSM staple like collars, handcuffs or paddles.
If you want to explore with some Dom/Sub play by teasing your partner, there's nothing better than some remote controlled vibrators. It's the perfect way to control the pleasure of your partner and watch them squirm underneath you.
Finally, if you want to explore the S&M side of BDSM then there's nothing better than a whip. It’s important to remember that S&M isn’t always about pain, humiliation can be the perfect power tool to put your sub in their place. Gags are one of the most popular and simple ways to overpower your sub partner.
If you and your partner are ready to really spice up your sex life and take a walk on the wild side have a browse of our BDSM range online, or visit us instore and have a chat to our friendly team!